The Stuck Window

propped open with a twelve-inch-long board

resists my attempts to raise it higher

in order to free the board

so I tap the bottom of the window with a rubber mallet

held in my left hand

the window rises half an inch

far enough for me to shift the board

though because I’m still holding the mallet

I’m not holding up the now unstuck window

so it slams down

onto the toppling board & onto my right hand

the flat side of the board & my right hand

lie wedged

between the bottom of the window & the windowsill

I drop the rubber mallet

try to pull away my hand — stuck

try to raise the window — stuck

I think about my phone

where I set it on the bed after checking the weather

rain, it said, from the north, it said

a good reason to close the north-facing window

now closed, or nearly so

again I try to raise the window

again I try to pull away my hand

I think about foxes & wolves

their paws stuck in man-made traps

how they chew off their paws

so I pull & pull, feel skin tear, pull

until my hand comes free

indented, numb

cold running water slows the bleeding

my hand throbs

my stiff fingers barely wiggle

I dry my hand, apply a bandage

I think for a long time about what it means to live alone