Red Is the Color of China

my brother dug a deep, then deeper hole

the backyard hole to nowhere

what kind of a family allows for that kind of hole?

through the earth to the other side, he said

like the cop who dug until his shovel

hit something solid, the wrist of a murdered woman

if you dig long enough you might find the why

. . . accident, crime, bad blood, old age . . .

knowing the why doesn’t relieve the ache

from the window I watched my brother dig

or I stood close but not too close to the rim of the hole

in case he decided to throw dirt at me

he was covered in dirt while I was taught to be clean

it took me ten years to relearn dirty

to throw sod root-side up into trenches

pile dark soil on top, my first growing season

. . . babies, vegetables, extra-marital tomfoolery . . . 

when photographs are black & white

blood might be paint, or vice versa

Capital Punishment

two states choose to execute two convicted men

perhaps they did wrong, perhaps they did no wrong

twenty plus years in prison means nearly every cell

in the men’s bodies has been replaced three times

their bodies remake themselves yet can’t shed

their criminal identification . . . now they’re dead

to satisfy someone’s powerful urge to rule others

because each of us individually cannot rule ourself

shall it be life or death? be my guest, you choose

Self Portrait

a framed pencil sketch

hangs cattycorner from my crib

an amateur’s rendering of

a hand, a baby’s head, a wrist

someone thought the execution

good enough to frame, good enough

to hang in a baby’s room

parts of a baby for the baby

ivory paper, smudged gray lead

clear glass, a black frame

how old am I when I recognize

my own self? dissected

the parts refuse to cohere, head

without a neck, hand here

wrist there, no arm, no body

think about who must have hung it

how many years pass before

I smash this mirror, splinter

the frame, tear up the sketch

bury my remains in the attic

The Hidden Bones of a Wall

a sawdust-clotted web

an earwig’s fractured corpse

one sawzall a halftone below the other

explains what cannot be explained

the idea that humans are gods

witness this wheelchair pope

colonizer, predator

peel back his whited robe

shrive him, skin alive him

let gall pollute the cracked soil

boiled from the blood of commoners

they creep up behind you

nodding stickseed, six-legged prey

species begin to be missed

spinners spin again

until some time afterward

you don’t see the last of something

on we cower to nowhere

The Man Who Died

the worm in the apple is the knowledge

that once, for a time, you worshipped me

how that set me apart, made me less real

more a mirage in the mind of a sad man

who’d had a great deal to drink, the mirror

of me worshipping you, an imaginary man

sitting across from me, distanced from me

by the white tablecloth, the green bottle

wine we’d both drunk to the lees — lees 

that now unsettle me, a fibrous sediment

damp, dark red, smelling of fruit, of trees

Right to Life Circa 1900

I long to console my grandmother after

the death of her child, three-month-old

Lena, how swifly she goes from suckling

to choking, gasping, her fingers & face

blue

         Grandma’s futile breasts ache

she doesn’t speak, the five children

sit where they’ve been told to sit

while Aunt Emily wraps the body

Grandpa says, “There, there,” to anyone

listening

                 no sooner the child buried

he comes to Grandma in the night

“No, no” she whispers, but nothing

she can say or do stops him, his

rights prevail, eight more times she

births his child

                            never again cares 

the rift too wide, her world undone

mothering over, she pales away

older children raise the littler ones

Beer with the Boys in the Bar

one night you agree to go home with a guy

missing a tooth or two — he’s not someone

you work with, that’s one complication avoided

& who knows what his name is — you’ve drunk

rather more than usual despite knowing alcohol

doesn’t agree with you, facts you acknowledge

when you find yourself in a pickup weaving

down a narrow potholed driveway, facts

you acknowledge the full implications of

when in his water bed your head starts to spin

& you vomit, & vomit — that’s the end of that

you think, indeed, you remember nothing else

until morning when despite a mild recurrence

of nausea & no toothbrush, sigh, you agree

to join him in the shower — it’s not clean —

where you ask yourself why you’re naked

worse yet, sober, with no-name — oh well

a body’s a body, you do what you want to do

Cafayate, a Small Town in Argentina

one by one, three, then four, the donkeys

shamble into town, linger at street corners

snuff choice blooms from flower beds

brightening the paths in the town square

someone owns the donkeys, or claims to

but he sets them loose to block roads

surprise & dismay tourists, nibble fruits

the produce sellers shout & rush to rescue

none wear straw hats or ribbon-braided

manes or tails, no, the donkeys are unkempt

are childhood, carnival, insolence, mayhem

nights, corralled under stars, they caterwaul

Karma

six years old

lights out

bedroom door closed 

I lay in bed

plotting my father’s death

for hating us, for beating us

for keeping our mother

from kissing us goodnight

said we were too old for that

a terrorized household

no wonder I flinch

a stranger, a burglar

would climb through my window

I would convince him

my father had the money

I would show him

where & how to kill him

Go, do it now, I’d say

one day, drunk, he stepped off

the commuter train

before it stopped

was nearly

dragged under the train

shoe shredded, clothes torn

I wrung my hands

so close, so close

some people deserve to die

I’m not a killer

or am I?

Falling Together, Falling Forever

rain drips from the eaves

a vine flowers, seed spreads

the chores I perform over & over

get dressed brush teeth wash dishes make bed

salvage give shelter hide hold

a center is of no use

adam, then eve — a gender theory

deep roots, a strangling vine

move along, move along as if it matters

I would be pleased not to feel guilty

I would rather not leave the chair

sat upon, cats upon

a third cat glides toward us

messenger angel

don’t pretend you can throw something away 

& forget about it

anyone who puts a controlling hand on anyone

should stop

daisy . . . day’s eye

the rate of rain dropping from the eaves

a poem a net of words

thunder, silence, green

air a web the rain weaves through